Do people want a pat on the back? The question has plagued man (particularly
the disabled man) for decades. Since the
ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) was passed in 1990 doors have flown open
for me; most often pushed by the nibble fingers of a back due for a pat.
So, it is no contest; people want a pat on the back, a shiv
for their ego, a reason to smile in church.
I like to test how far people will go for that pat; that supercilious
slap that keeps them in the game and puts a nickel in their pocket toward
lasting fame. I’ll purposely languish in
the cold, needless shadows of buildings as a door is held for me by one of the
self-righteous few. A minute seems to be
the statute of limitations for such favoring eccentricities. The patrons will smile blandly, perhaps with irascible
whips of belligerence clouding their ears, and go about their thankless day.
I am not
vindictive. I simply don’t care to be
the token disabled shill. My advice to
these disoriented bouncers is to wait for the guy in the wheelchair who really
needs the assistance. Although, I think
the consensus among the disabled would be that such favors should only be
offered upon their request. They assume
and, in my presence, make an ass out of themselves.
I'm not worthy
What am I, some big rock star? How come just because people see a man with
all four limbs using a cane suddenly an entourage is born? Am I old?
I’m not a woman; and even if I was it is no reason to hold a door open unless
the person is following close enough to bite you in the ass.
Women
Chivalry has taken somewhat of an archaic role since the 70’s
(at least). My experience has been that
women frown on the assumption that they are too frail or weak or important to
hold a door. I’ll say I have held a door
for a woman, or a man, but not more than 10 seconds. It would be rude not to if they were
following close or if they had a basket of kittens in their arms. They rarely say anything though. It could be that all the libbers are gone, perpetually
marching in an ERA protest.
Ah, the pat on the back.
I guess some people need it even if it is at my integrity’s
expense. That’s the only reason I can
figure. So, there are no rulings on the
time one may hold a door. Emily Post
never cared to trifle with a subject so mundane. I say 10 seconds is the rule; but don’t stand
there looking at your watch as they eye the threshold. And if you are not followed close enough to
get bit in the ass, well then, you have no social obligation to hold a door
open; although you might want to hold it closed
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